Today’s parents are finding it difficult to know what their kids are up
There are ways to not only know but also get them around
– T P Venu
Gopal Srivastav, 51, is a clerk at a leather garment factory in Saharanpur. Life has been good. He is in a senior position, wife works in the quality control department of a private firm. Both have scaled the ladder, built a nice house and have all the material comforts that anyone can ask for, but both
are helpless on one count- they just are not able to know what their kid Ansh does all day long and at night inside his room. Every attempt to talk and
ask him results in answers in monosyllables. Frustrated, Gopal one day snatches the phone and finds this:
What is more! His frustration turns into helplessness as he cannot make a thing of what is supposed to be a conversation through emojis.
On the other side of the digital divide, many parents face a similar predicament. The above screenshot roughly translated means thus:
A: Hi
B: Hi, what’s up
A: OK
A Money is pending with the emoji of hourglass
B: Tension emoji
A: Anger emoji
B: Sends a football with a medal and asks for money on 8th
A: Sends an emoji of Pinocchio and says B is lying
B: Says No, says he will send the money soon
A: Sends a handshake and says deal
B: Replies with a bro fist indicating ok.
A: Puts on sunglasses to show he is now at peace
B: Replies with a peace and victory symbol.
Not a word is exchanged but both parties come to an agreement but the parent is distraught and wonders what his son is up to and how can he make him agree to share his worries, triumphs and happenings in life. Technology connects is what one is taught but is it disconnecting rather than connect is a question uppermost in the minds of parents. Gopal is not alone as scores of parents are a worried lot. Reason: The child does not communicate, confide and share.
‘Be a fun parent’ Dr Purnima Nagaraja,
psychiatrist of Dhrithi Wellness Clinic says too much reprimanding will only widen the distance. Parents need to ease up and turn into ‘fun’ parents. Excerpts from theinterview
How can parents know what their kids are doing?
Parents need not know everything their child is doing. I said it as a broader sense of offering a child’s privacy. There are many parents who will not even let their grown-ups- 18- 20 year old, to close their door room when they are asleep.
So, there is a lack of privacy in children which makes them hide more and lie more. Too much reprimanding, too many incorporate punishments
actually make children hide. Be open with them and create an environment to be open with you.
Majority of students turn off lights and spend hours on the mobile. What is the remedy?
Today, gaming is an addiction and people turn off lights because they feel they can see better as there is a big bright screen, which is terrible for the eyes.
They cover their heads and turn on the screen under the covers. Encourage them to use the blue light filter so that it does not spoil their eyes.
Today, a lot of ophthalmological problems are cropping up because of the excessive screen time. If we are not giving them enough screen time to have fun, not just studies, in the day time, but they will do it at night. Let
us give them adequate screen time in the morning other than studies, limit screen time for themselves and for us.
Gen-Z has a mindset of its own. What can parents do to connect with them?
I think every generation has mind of its own. Every parent needs to understand where children are coming from, if they are lying, hiding, if they are being disobeying, if they are throwing tantrums, depressed or anxious.
Somewhere along the way you know, it is like a cry for help.
In our culture we decide a child’s career before they are born. Once in a while, try to be like them, be a child, be a cool parent, a fun parent, so then you will realize that it is not a mind-set, it’s not a rebellion. It’s just that they have a different opinion and we must honour their opinion.
So for example, if somebody does not want to be an engineer or a doctor, don’t force them. Thereis no rule on earth that says you need to fulfil your father’s dream or mother’s dream. Let them have dreams of their own.
A great many stop speaking with either of the parent. How can parents deal with the problem?
Parents also need to ease up a little bit, talk to children. Be the fun parent, be the go to person for your child. 80% of the time, they are telling you everything. Take their opinion, give them importance and you will be amazed sometimes how mature they can be. Being rebellious, not
talking about their inner feelings, going into anxiety depression – all of these things happen when they feel that they cannot relate to anybody or they are not getting any kind of support. They deserve some
Are we heading towards singularity?
There is a lot of discussion onsingularity and how people are slowly but surely embracing a world that is powered by a virtual three dimensional space where you can do everything as one does in the real world. To put it in simple terms, man would cocoon himself inside the internet, alone yet connected with a gamut of Apps, games, music, friendship and research. And that to a great extent is already happening. According to Statista.com daily time spent on social networking by internet users worldwide from 2012 to 2020 rose from 90 minutes to 145 minutes per day. The Gen-Z born between 1997 and 2012 use social media and a majority give priority to it above family. According to a 2020 survey by DoubleVerify, we are spending seven hours per day consuming online content. The steep rise is attributed to the pandemic.
During the last quarter of 2020,internet users in the Philippines spent more than four hours perday on average on social media. Nigeria and Brazil also reported high usage levels, with users spending more than three hours and 40 minutes on social media on daily basis. By comparison, internet users in Japan spent less than 50 minutes per day on social media. Low levels of daily usage were also recorded in South Korea and the Netherlands.
Source: Published by Statista Research According to Abdalla Kablan, serial tech entrepreneur and academic who completed his Ph.D. from the University of Essex in Computational Finance,
says in his article ‘Metaverse is coming-The future is here’, in the New Indian Express: “Metaverse is the equivalent of living inside the internet. This opens the possibility of creation of a new world, a new economy and new possibilities.” For this generation exposed to the tab as toddlers, metaverse is a reality and singularity natural. The new form of currency in the form of crypto currencies is a component of metaverse. In such a fast changing world, parents from the older generation feel alienated from kids who are marching on the meteverse bandwagon.
Teaching the metaverse Gen The challenge for present day educationists as well as parents is to connect with metaverse Gen. The former would have to
tweak the curriculum, delivery of content and latter would have to understand their language that entails upgrading themselves with technology. Jaswant Kaur, a single mother from Rajpura in Punjab says, “My sister works in Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi and with her help I learnt to use the internet and I am on all social media platforms. I am in every group my daughter is in and we share a very healthy relationship. I do not spy on her
and she knows that.” N P Rohit, psychologist based out of Delhi says, “If parents build trust and create an environment in which the child can speak
any issue be it bullying, exam fear, love affairs, depression, fear of making it in life, the battle is won. Issues go overboard only when children hide issues from parents and teachers. They need to confide in someone who they trust.”
What is metaverse? Presently, there is no definition but simply put it means living inside the internet. In the metaverse, people will eat, shop and trade and a new class of economy will surface. The emergence of crypto currency is an example.
Teaching the metaverse Gen The challenge for present day educationists as well as parents is to connect with metaverse Gen. The former would have to
tweak the curriculum, delivery of content and latter would have to understand their language that entails upgrading themselves with technology. Jaswant Kaur, a single mother from Rajpura in Punjab says, “My sister works in Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi and with her help I learnt to use the internet and I am on all social media platforms. I am in every group my daughter is in and we share a very healthy relationship. I do not spy on her and she knows that.”
N P Rohit, psychologist based out of Delhi says, “If parents build trust and create an environment in which the child can speak any issue be it bullying, exam fear, love affairs, depression, fear of making it in life, the battle is won. Issues go overboard only when children hide issues from parents and teachers. They need to confide in someone who they trust.”
When should you ring the alarm bells?
Lookout for these signals:
- Sleeping for unusually long hours by turning the lights off
- Spending long hours in the bathroom
- Uncommon calmness
- Stealing money
Students especially in their teens get influenced rather easily. Peer pressure can lead them to do things that are just against their nature, yet they succumb. The ones who realise that each one is a unique and has his/her style and individuality do not fall into the trap but such cases are few and far in between. Pep talks with children by parents and teachers at regular intervals do wonders.
Department, Sep 28, 2021
During the last quarter of 2020,
internet users in the Philippinethe Netherlands.
Source: Publish.
