Author: Mukta Sharma, Academic Consultant and Trainer
With the decline of the joint family system and both parents being employed, parenting skills have taken a beating. Educating parents on the most effective parenting is the need of the hour Parenting education has become the need of the hour in an urban setup as most families are nuclear families with working parents. The new parents in nuclear families do not have the support of senior citizens and have limited access to pre-natal counselling. In such a scenario parenting education becomes very critical to the physical and mental health of kids as well as adults taking care of kids be it parents, guardians or caretakers.
Parenting education supports child rearing in a stress-free environment. It promotes the use of positive parenting practices, such as using positive language, planned discipline, and family routines. Parent education programs help parents change the family mindset regarding appropriate expectations from
children, family roles, and other values that discourage the use of traditional punishment practices which can hamper the child’s self-esteem in the later part of life.
In the current demography of families in urban areas where in both parents are working and staying in the nuclear set up, schools will have to shoulder Mukta Sharma Academic Consultant and Trainer Parenting the responsibility of educating parents on a research-based “New Approach to Parenting”. A platform needs to be established in schools where issues and concerns of parents regarding child development could be addressed. This article provides a structure to parenting education sessions so as to enable each and
every parent to raise a happy and responsible child.
Parents have to be supported in raising the kids without being harsh or loud with them. The manner in which an individual raise, educate and socialize their kids are referred to as parenting style. Parenting style is influenced by many external factors and keeps evolving over a period of time. Based on the experience of building parent child relationships and the behaviour of the parent, the following parenting styles have been identified.
• Permissive Parent
• Uninvolved Parent
• Authoritarian Parent
• Authoritative Parent
Let’s understand each parenting style and its impact on kids’ behaviour in detail.
PERMISSIVE PARENT
Parents practising a permissive style do not hold themselves responsible for the development and raising of their kids. They believe that “The kids know what best they need”. They are affirmative, gentle, and love and protect the kid. They do not use punishments and prohibitions and accept the child’s impulses establish control or clear boundaries between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.
There is no mechanism for positive discipline or sharing clear expectations. As a result of permissive a parenting style, the following characteristics and traits are developed in the child
• A child does not develop the ability to accept “NO”.
• Children can become adamant if their desires are not fulfilled.
• Poor self-regulation in terms of temperament and feelings.
• Low focus and concentration
• Poor interpersonal skills and hence may be rejected by peers.
UNINVOLVED PARENT
These parents do not appreciate the kid’s basic need for affection and care possibly because of substance abuse or a neglected childhood of their own. This parent is not involved in parenting and is focused on his/ her own comfort only. They have the attitude “I have my own life and kids have their own life too” They are not able to discipline the kids and are unconscientious, careless and neglectful towards the kid. This style of parenting leads to the following characters and traits in the kids
• They suffer from anxiety
• They are not able to build trust and confidence in the adults
• They do not have a clear understanding of limitations and cross the boundaries too often
• The kids’ suffer from low self – respect and self-esteem
AUTHORITARIAN PARENT
Authoritative parents take responsibility of caring and guiding the child. They respect the kids by giving them an opportunity to express their views and desires.
This type of parenting style stems from the attitude that “I know best what is good for my child”. This parent-child relationship is built on power and the parents always have the last word with no negotiation. These parents are extremely demanding with little warmth and affection. These parents are judgemental and are always controlling kid’s behaviour as per their moods and needs. They do not respect the child’s personality and correct them through in-built fear in the child possibly through punishment. As a result of this parenting style kids exhibit the following traits
• These kids are anxious, withdrawn, unhappy and scared.
• High-performing student due to fear of punishment.
• Inability to accept failure
• Poor interpersonal relationship
• May become rebellious and identify with the violent parent.
In addition to educating parents on the most effective parenting style, the schools could educate the parents on the following aspects as well which will support them in bringing up a confident, respectful and satisfied child
• Parenting in a joint family under the influence of grandparents.
• Parent’s self-care and requirement for some time to themselves.
• Dimensions of Constructive Parenting
• Attachment
• Respect
• Proactive Parenting
• Empathic parenting
• Positive discipline
• Stages of cognitive and physical development in a child.
• Effective communication between child and parent.
• Improving parent’s skills for motivation and seeking cooperation from the child.
• Constructive parenting under difficult conditions.
Some of the feasible platforms through which parents could be educated include One to One counselling sessions, Face to face interactive sessions for large groups addressing common issues, weekly letters, webinars and videos.
