International Women’s Day, celebrated on March 8, honours the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women worldwide. This day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity. The theme for 2024 is ‘Invest in women: Accelerate progress.’ In recognition of this important occasion, Brainfeed will be highlighting diverse perspectives and insights from women leaders in education.
In this context, we are pleased to present an article below by Dr. Moulali Khan Pattan, Principal, Baqhers Public School, Gulbarga, Karnataka.
There is a saying in English ‘Life is like a Book’. Life of a woman is remembered for her grit and determination if she is given a chance to live life. This story belongs to an unknown person, my teacher who thought life would be a bed of roses.
Life started with a bang, when I married and went into a very large and extended family. I belonged to a family of three brothers and the most pampered girl in the family. After marriage, it took some time for me to adjust, and understand the real meaning of married life. I was pushed into daily chores. I had two children, the elder one very precious baby in medical terminology. I was on bed rest for the whole term. Meanwhile, I was diagnosed with a heart disease Mitral Valve Stenosis.
To raise boys, life wasn’t easy. I thought I could do it, but life in itself was a challenge. My children’s so-called father never understood, helped, encouraged, or motivated me for anything to live life. It was later that I understood that he had me in his life just to complete the rituals of marriage. He was a very obedient son to his mother. It was a challenge to keep my sanity in place. I took the toughest decision of leading the boys knowingly and unknowingly, teaching them the pros and cons of life. One side deep in me there was an urge to go further in life to shoulder the responsibilities financially also. But the father of my children and his people did not allow me to dream about it. Literally I WAS A BIRD WHOSE WINGS WERE CLIPPED.
I always had this feeling that somewhere down my boys would pull me ahead. Yes, it’s their permission, encouragement and support I went and joined an evening college for my graduation. I was a diploma holder for which I was mocked and was also made fun of my English language speaking skills. I completed my graduation with an honourable percentage. One of my friends who, has been the guiding force in my life, after the Almighty, guided and motivated me always. Before I could get my results, I got a call from a prestigious school, where I had a stint of three years. During those three years I got an opportunity to complete my degree in Bachelor of Education.
By then I had started shouldering the financial responsibilities of the house. There was a very laid-back attitude from the so called man of the house my son’s father. He had started spending more time in bed and resting while with his family. I had already started giving him gentle reminders and warnings that if things continue the same I may be out of his life. He ignored my reprimands.
The year 2017 brought a drastic change. In January, a death in the family turned the tables. Things became more difficult for me. I started losing hope. I had sent my youngest son to a college outside the city, where he could not adjust there and failed for two years. In my personal life, I had taken a bold step of separation from my so-called husband because I had reached a saturation point in my life.
The world had shaken for my children and I had to be bold enough to prove my worth and fight for everything. Life had given a second chance for me. I was given a beautiful experience to become a mother of two beautiful daughters along with my sons. My sons got two orphaned girls as their siblings. My elder brother, who is my father figure, stood like a rock with me. He found a godsend suitable partner for me. This was a second chance for me Almighty had chosen me.
This was a turning point in my life. This man made me feel very special and high. He became the pillar of my strength. I started loving life and its nuances. I started to feel that I am also of some help or useful to someone in society.
Dear people, first and foremost start loving yourself, find your worth and the world follows. It’s we women who should make ourselves efficient, tender, and courteous. We are to be honoured for being a daughter, wife, mother, and sister. Women must be given equal opportunities in every field and equal pay. I feel women should be taught skills to be financially independent. I fought tooth and nail for my life-changing decisions through societal problems. Here I feel education plays and played a major role in my life. As I restarted my life and continued my education after 24 years, this was a turning point in my life.
I also want to highlight here that educating women and making them understand to protect themselves against any kind of violence or harm (my personal experience is a physical harm) that can be forgotten after lasting long. I wish luck to every woman on this Women’s International Day.
